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Radical self-responsibility is a catchy new phrase. To me it means being completely aware that I can blame no one for anything that happens in my life, no one. It’s all on me.

When I first heard about radical self-responsibility I thought it was cute. I thought maybe I’ll do a little dabbling with it, try it out. So dabble I did.

Weirdly, or maybe not, the more I dabbled the more frustrated I became while was also becoming hooked on the idea.

There is such a dark/light side to practicing radical self-responsibility.

The dark side is I can’t blame my husband’s behavior for my shitty mood, something I am fond of doing although he doesn’t like it much. I can’t blame anyone for any mood I’m in, good or bad.

The light side is that I am the one who decides what mood I’m in and how my day is going to go. No one else. Just me.


My husband and I went for a mountain bike ride. Before we left I had a very specific plan in mind for the route we would take because I like having a plan. However, when we got to a crossroads in the trail he suggested we try this other route, one I had never done. One that was not part of my plan.

I am not a fan of having changes sprung on me but I went with it, fuming quietly from the get go even though I made the choice to go along with the change.

Surprise, surprise the ride became one of me constantly having to clip out and save myself from nasty falls on a trail that was actually ridiculously easy all because I was a tad bit upset.

I was upset but not for the reason you may be thinking. At this point I wasn’t upset with my husband, I was upset with the fact that since I had chosen a life of radical self-responsibility I couldn’t be upset with him or blame him for my shaky performance.

It was all on me… damnit.

I really wanted my current mood to be his fault but it wasn’t. It was all mine to claim and cherish or curse, and I did a lot of that.

By the end of the ride I was actually laughing at myself for making an event that could have been a carefree pedal through the woods into a major hissy fit.

Photo by Arnaud Mesureur on Unsplash


Living a life of radical self-responsibility means I am the director of everything that goes on in my life. If I choose not to market my coaching business then I will probably never have any coaching clients. All because of my decision to not work on my marketing.

There is an elegant freedom in living like this. It takes everyone else out of the equation distilling it down to just me. I like that.

As I get deeper into this commitment I find it is actually kind of fun to figure out why I’m in a particular mood.Then I can decide if I want to stay in that mood. If not I get to change my thinking to change my mood.

You should try it, living a life of radical self-responsibility.

It is not easy.

You will not be good at it right away but with practice you will get better and better.

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